The most important things in a nutshell
Starting school is an exciting and emotional event that your child will remember for the rest of their life. They will have mixed feelings, joy as well as anxiety, curiosity and anticipation. By being attentive and supportive to their child's needs, parents can minimise worry and increase anticipation. Don't overwhelm your child with expectations and let them make their own experiences. Good preparation, listening and open communication are the key to successfully mastering this important step together and making the start of school life a positive experience. In the following text, you can find out how these feelings are expressed, what can help your child and which non-fiction books can provide support.
The first day at school: worries, fears and joy - What is going on in my child's mind?
How can I support my child in the transition from kindergarten to school? The first year at school is an emotional rollercoaster for your child and their parents or guardians. There will be moments when you both reach your limits or you will experience a completely different side to your child. In "Hello back to school!", you can learn many helpful methods on how to accompany the transition from daycare to primary school. From the first defeats and friendships to tantrums. It's important to take a deep breath, not take everything personally, give your child space, listen and ask questions when appropriate. Allow your child a little more rest and playtime in the first few days after school, as this has suddenly become very limited.
The first day of school: supporting and encouraging anticipation and excitement
Most children look forward to their first day at school. New friends, exciting learning content and the prospect of being "big" create enthusiasm. Parents can support this anticipation by talking positively about school and encouraging your child's curiosity. Picking out the school folder together and talking about the school enrolment ceremony will help to get a feel for what your child really wants or to find out what they are worried or afraid of.
Your child will stay in primary school for 4 or 6 years and you will go through ups and downs. There will be phases of euphoria and sadness as well as experiences with the first pressure to perform. Sometimes it helps to talk to other parents or read a guidebook. We recommend "Miteinander durch die Grundschulzeit".
Take fears and worries seriously and listen to your child
Alongside the joy, fears and worries can also arise. Common worries are:
- Fear of the unknown: Children do not know what to expect and are afraid of new situations.
- Social anxiety: Worries about not being accepted. The fear of social exclusion and not finding friends is a very common theme. Talk openly about this feeling and how you can help your child to socialise. There are wonderful books about friendship and also about the topic of exclusion, our recommended reading is "Little WE in Year 1". Talk about what your child is afraid of and what they want. Talk positively about school and everyday school life and perhaps offer to invite their new friends over to play. Friend books can serve as a first point of contact with the new classmates, which can also help them find common ground.
- Pressure to perform: The fear of not meeting the requirements.
Take away your child's fear of pressure to perform by solving child-friendly pre-school puzzles or looking at first-reading books. There are wonderful puzzle and logic blocks that can be solved before they start school. As your child experiences for themselves what they can already do, the fear of the pressure to perform will disappear by itself. Always encourage your child and have fun with the exercises. When they run out of steam, take a break and play. Simple "tasks" can also be integrated into everyday activities such as setting the table, shopping and tidying up. Your child is good like this - tell and show her or him again and again. This will develop his or her self-confidence.
- Feeling alone and missing the parents: The long separation and the unknown can feel very difficult for children at first. Small, intensive cuddling breaks in the morning and afternoon can recharge their batteries. A small cuddly toy in the school folder can help as a quick comforter.
How do these feelings express themselves?
Children often show their feelings indirectly. Look out for the following signs:
- Sleep problems: Difficulty falling asleep or waking up frequently and coming to bed more often.
Loss of appetite: Less interest in food and tired.
- Changes in behaviour: Withdrawal, restlessness or outbursts of anger may occur more frequently from one minute to the next in the early days. This is completely okay, the emotions first have to sort themselves out and get used to the new circumstances.
- Physical complaints: Abdominal pain or headaches for no medical reason.
How can parents make the transition to school easier for their child?
Parents play a crucial role in supporting and empowering their child and discussing the start of school with them. Here are some tips:
- Open communication: Talk to your child about their feelings. Listen actively and take their concerns seriously. If your child doesn't want to talk, let them do handicrafts or draw their feelings. A great companion for children and parents is the children's feelings diary "A good feeling".
- Create a routine: A structured daily routine provides security. Prepare the school bag together and plan the way to school. Let your child decide what goes in the lunchbox. Go to bed a little earlier, as the evening routine can drag on a little. Plan deliberate playtime in the afternoon to create creative freedom. Let your child decide what they want to do in the afternoon and don't over-schedule the afternoons in the first few weeks.
- Preparation: Visit the school in advance to familiarise your child with the environment. Role-playing games can help to simulate everyday school life. Read books about starting school or take a look at the school playground and walk the future route to school together so that your child knows what to expect. Plan the school enrolment party together. Who should be invited? Which school cone would you like? Should it be a special school enrolment cake? How do we want to decorate? Sometimes less is more. Ask your child and involve them in the party planning. It's their big day!
- Positive reinforcement: Talk your child through small successes and encourage them to take on new challenges. Small "motivational messages" also fit wonderfully in the lunch box, such as "You're great!", "I'm thinking of you!", "I love you!", "You're amazing!". If your child feels alone, it helps to have a little piece of mum or dad's motivation with you.
The day school starts: the first day of school in Class 1
On the first day of school itself, it is important that parents remain calm and relaxed. A breakfast together and a nicely packed lunch box with everything your current schoolchild likes. This makes the transition to school life easier and increases anticipation for the break. Don't overburden them with expectations and let them make their own experiences. Allow enough time for the journey to school to avoid stress. Say goodbye briefly and positively so as not to make saying goodbye unnecessarily difficult and reassure your child that everything will be fine and that you will pick them up later at the agreed place.
